Serpentine

August 24, 2008 –

I’m in a sidewinding phase, obviously.

I should have just let this post stand as it was. But, oh well… at least I got in a good rant about Blogger .

I’ll be back here in mid-September sporting a new skin. Yes, that’s here , as in, still at this same self-hosted site. I know, I know what you’re saying right now: make up your mind already, Elizavetta.

But I am! I make it up as I go along *wink*

In the meantime, remember when I was talking about getting my dance mojo back ? Well, here’s a little peek at the kind of stuff I’ve been learning lately (minus the death-defying back bends):

Rachel Brice, the Serpentine Queen

By Elizavetta | Posted in Findings, News, Rasa | Comments (4)

And yet another bend in the road

August 23, 2008 –

I’m considering some other changes to what I’m doing here, and those changes might actually have something to do with where this site ends up. Or maybe not. So… as elise said, hang with me just a bit longer while I figure this out.

By Elizavetta | Posted in News | Comments (6)

Packing up the last boxes

August 20, 2008 –

So, it’s on to wordpress.com

And good news for you, Tom : the import went like buttah! It took 20 seconds. Expect your badge tomorrow ;)

By Elizavetta | Posted in Findings, News | Comments (2)

Oh Blogspotty honey, why do you insist on making me hate you when all I want to do is love you?

August 19, 2008 –

Ok, so the move over to Blogger is making me want to puke not working out quite as I thought it would.

Go ahead, laugh… tell me you told me so, etc. But if you’re gonna do it, do it now and just get it over with, dammit please.

Actually, despite the fact that there is no such thing as any kind of easy importing from WP to Blogger, it was all going pretty well a post at a freakin’ time! until Blogger decided to have problems with image loading, template issues, and a million a lot a few other things just as I was changing things over.

And I haven’t even arrived at the domain mapping funhouse fiasco process yet.

But it’s nothing I can’t scream about throw a hissy fit over manage, so — big deep breath — it’s back over to the Booger Blogger boxing ring drawing board for me. Or, hmm… perhaps you’ll see me over on stingy tie-your-hands wordpress.com yet.

Nah . Nope . Never say never.

So, was that there enough strikethroughs for ya, huh? Because given the current mood I’m in, I could surely throw in a handful a bucketful a fucking shitload more!

By Elizavetta | Posted in News | Comments (8)

‘Scuse me Egon? You said crossing the streams was bad!

August 13, 2008 –

I know it’s not autumn yet, but I’ve pretty much decided what I want to do with this site.

First, I’m moving it back over to Blogger.

I know, I know… why would I want to move back to Blogger from a self-hosted Word Press site? Answer: Blogger is easy. Fucking easy. And I want fucking easy right now.

Also, while I’m in the process of moving the site, I’ll be doing some ghostbusting housecleaning… meaning that most of my processing, blogging-type posts will disappear.

Blogging on this site was good for me in many ways, and I hope you all got something out of my blabbing on about stuff here, too. But it’s just time for this site to go back to what it originally was: just erotica. The thought of that pleases me. And right now, it’s all about what pleases me.

The domain name will stay the same (meaning it won’t have blogspot.com tacked on to it), which means that if you still want to link to me, or if you’re subscribed here, you shouldn’t have to do anything special on your end.

However, when the changeover happens (in about a week), you may see a sudden slew of posts pop up in your reader (if you’re subscribed). If this happens, just delete them because they’ll all be duplicates.

See you on the other side, Ray.

By Elizavetta | Posted in News | Comments (6)

Intermission… ok, well, more like a sabbatical

July 31, 2008 –

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Be concentrated and leonine in the hunt for what is your true nourishment.
~Rumi

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I’m taking a break from blogging for awhile. I don’t know for how long, but I do plan to revisit this decision in the fall and see where to go from there.

Between now and then, I’ll probably post some poetry or fiction, but that’s about it.

I’m not fed up or bored (god, I’m never bored!). Nor is this decision a reaction to some event, unfortunate or otherwise. It’s just that so many things have shifted in my life recently and it’s time for me to pay attention to them without the constant double focusing that happens when one is blogging about what one is currently experiencing.

In other words, I feel the need right now to shift my attention from blogging to a whole host of other things that I know will bring me new nourishment.

As for what I’m going to do with this site in the future, I’m not sure. But for now, my archives will remain as they are and comments will still be open.

I’ll still be checking email and visiting my favorite haunts (you know who you are!). And of course, please feel free to email me if you like. I’m not going all incommunicado or anything - I’m just not going to be spewing about stuff in this space.

But if you do email and I don’t answer right away, don’t fret (I will eventually answer). Just chalk it up to me being busily concentrated and leonine… elsewhere.

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By Elizavetta | Posted in News, Rasa | Comments (6)

Feeling it

July 27, 2008 –

A post or so back, I talked about feeling it all the way down. And I just had a thought about that - an afterthought, aftershock, post script, whatever…

When I am submitting and that moment of surrender comes, I tend to feel it as a letting go, a relaxing, like heavy gates are swinging open in slow motion within me.

And that feeling usually originates as a tingling in the back of my neck that moves down my shoulders and radiates in expansive waves that wash down into into my chest and diaphragm. This is usually when the calm settles in and I being to float.

Also, when I start to feel the letting go of surrender, I want to begin exhaling in long slow beautiful waves. Really long, sighing, moaning exhalations feel very very good, and I feel dreamy, dissolved… at one with the world.

When I’m dominating and that surge of almost savage focus comes, I tend to feel it as a very fast expansion, as if some superheated energy has flash-flooded into a container that can barely hold it.

And this feeling usually originates in my solar plexus or my belly, and then radiates upward very fast into my chest and neck. I sometimes get dizzy at this point, and my eyes feel like they’re snapping into some sort of super vision mode, like I can suddenly see at both a microscopic level as well as into outerspace (I know, that sounds goofy, but there it is).

And when that flood of power begins to overtake me, I have the feeling that I want to suck in as much air as I can - deep, gluttonous inhalations. I think my chest actually physically expands at this point and inhaling feels so fucking powerfully good - like I’m suddenly more alive than alive.

So… this is interesting. Especially from the standpoint of chakras and energy movement. In my body, it seems that dominance goes up on the inhale, surrender goes down on the exhale, and either way, it all ends up swirling around at the heart.

Wow… I honestly never looked at my own responses like this before, contrasted in this way. The complementarity of this is really cool to me - up/down, in/out, etc.

Also interesting is that these upper body feelings are generally my first entrance into the “spaces” of either dominance or submission, and only later, after it’s spent some time swirling around in my heart center, does the energy move into the lower, sexual chakras - which triggers a whole other dimension of… swirling.

Hmm… Feeling it all the way down. Indeed.

By Elizavetta | Posted in From the bottom, From the top, Rasa, Ruminations | Comments (8)

Step into my office

July 26, 2008 –

I thought I’d just make my sexy retro self comfortable at my desk here and answer some mail.

(Ok, I admit it, I may have worn polyester and big belts and linebacker shoulder pads in 1986, but I drew the line at fake flowers.)

Anyway…

Recently, a few people have emailed me to ask me (very politely, bless them) about 1) my relationship with my husband and, 2) my experience with pro-domme work.

While I’m not inclined to answer a question just because it’s asked, I did realize that I haven’t really talked much about these two subjects even though I refer to them a lot.

So, for those of you who asked (so very sweetly), and also for those of you playing along at home, here’s the low down on both. Or, as Inigo Montoya would say:

Let me ’splain. [pause] No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

My relationship with my husband:

Basically, we are committed life partners. Period. So a few years ago, when we each realized how deeply different our approaches to both sexuality and spirituality really are (as a result of our little Tea and Oranges experiment), we came to the conclusion that renegotiating our previous agreement of monogamy was in order.

Since we are committed to loving and respecting and supporting each other from within the container of our relationship, we’ve renegotiated many things (sexual and otherwise) over the past few years in order to re-fashion that container so that it can continue to nurture us both as well as it always has.

So, the way we see it, we are now in a open, non-monogamous primary relationship (as we’ve defined it). Hence, my talk recently about both my relationship with my husband and my efforts at seeking a relationship with a submissive man.

My pro-domme experience:

Well, it’s pretty tame, actually - by today’s standards, anyway. Long before teh internets changed the way sexual services were offered and sought out, long before the word Dominatrix could even be uttered in polite company, let alone become the subject of books on a publicly accessible shelf at Barnes and Noble, I worked with a very small exclusive clientele agented by someone I knew.

Basically, it was a friendly, almost casual agreement all around and I actually met some really great people… and only two real wack jobs. In other words, I have no glamorous dirt to dish. It was, on most levels, as I’ve said before, simply a job.

However, me being me, I did “travel” to some really interesting inner spaces with the men I worked with. And as I’ve talked about elsewhere, several of these instances ended up being life changing, spiritual experiences, sometimes for both of us. This certainly did not happen all the time, but more often than you might assume.

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Photo credit: Oh-so retro secretary, from here.

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And, for those of you who’ve gotten all the way to the end of this post, a bonus answer: I did play secretary, but it wasn’t at all like the movie. It was more like shut-up-worm-and-lick-my-shoes-cuz-I’m-the-Bossy-Bitchy Secretary… and not at all like sit-in-the-chair-till-you-pee secretary.

Don’t get me wrong, I actually adored the movie. It’s just that back then, it being the eighties and all, I hadn’t seen it yet ;)

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… you sit through the credits at the end of movies, don’t you?

By Elizavetta | Posted in From the top, Ruminations | Comments (8)

A pro-domme is not a doctor, but she could play one on TV

July 25, 2008 –

Lately, I’ve run into a couple of blogs by young-ish women* who are writing about considering becoming pro-dommes because they’ve tried the femdommy thing a little bit and they find they like hitting men, and they have judged themselves pretty good at it.

So, they figure… Why not go pro? Why not make some money doing it?

Ah-hem…

Now begins the rant. A very short rant.

Hey, I just took an aspirin for my headache and my headache went away. Wow, that was fun! That worked! I really liked that, maybe I should become a doctor! You know, make some money at this administering drugs stuff!

No.

The yawning canyon between taking an aspirin for your headache and being a doctor is as wide as the one which exists between slapping your boyfriend around until you feel dizzy with power and being a pro-domme.

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*Not anyone I link to. Obviously.

By Elizavetta | Posted in Findings, From the top | Comments (4)

Love and power, aka chocolate and peanut butter

July 23, 2008 –

I recently realized that I have never submitted to a man sexually if there was not an already established circuit of love coursing between us.

But, I have dominated men just fine without that type of mutual love connection. And, in fact, I’ve felt more clarity and confidence concerning my ability to dominate a man if I don’t love him.

It’s as if submission (me being submissive) is rooted in love and the feeling of connection, whereas dominance (me being dominant) is rooted in power and the feeling of detachment.

Hmm… so what the hell is that about? [Elizavetta ponders] And why am I making a differentiation like this; these mental groupings of love/connection/submission and power/detachment/dominance?

Is this a result of a cultural male/female thing I’ve taken on unquestioningly as a personal belief? Or is there really something integral to me about this differentiation?

OR, am I simply on the cusp of discovering two great tastes that taste great together… you know, kinda like the yummy heaven one finds in a Reese’s peanut butter cup?

These are my current questions of the day…

… which I’ll think about some more after I get back from the candy store.

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Image credit: bob.fornal at flickr

By Elizavetta | Posted in From the bottom, From the top, Rasa, Ruminations | Comments (10)

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